Ryanindaswamp / Man In Da Street

Droppin A Few Peckz

Where all Da White Women At???

“Good afternoon Mr. Donovan”.

“My My My.

If’s it’z not the Salacious Beautiful FBI Special Agent Veronica Lake.” (Retired)


Alwayz where you need to be when you need to be there”.

“On the job Mr. Donovan. On the job. My life long”.

“For sure. For sure.

Keepin it a hundred percent.

Damn for sure.

Lucky Fuckin Me”.

“Copy that Marine”.

“Wait a minute. It’s Monday. 

Doc Blaisedale usually doesn’t kick you off that Sedona mountain so early in the week”.

“Regarding the doctor. 

Keepin it one hundred percent.

In true Simple Swamp Terminology.

Fuck Dat Bitch And Hiz MuthuFuckin Mamma”.

“Damnnnn Girl!!!

51 years. 

I have never heard you curse. 

For sure you ain’t playin with that statement. 

I mean don’t hold back or anything V. 

What you really tryin to say Girl?  

Bit of trouble in La La Land”?

“That Bitch was cheating on me. 

I played target practice with him. 

He couldn’t run fast enough to hiz Range Rover. 

Fuck Dat Small Dick White Boy”.



You gonna get me kicked off Blogger.Com with that language. So… did you unload the Glock 37 at Doc B”?

“Full damn magazine”.

“Damnnnn. So where you stayin”?


“Uhmm Uhmm Uhmmmm. 

Sweet Sweet Lorr Aineee”.

“She told me to tell you she sendz her best. 

Said to say Hi to Mr. Big”.

“Really. Hmmm. 

She is aware that I am now celibate going on 8 years”.

“Yeah. I told her. 

Loraine said she will be more than willing and joy filled to take care of that for you”.

“Uh Huh. 

Moving right along. 

How did you know I would be here today droppin a few peckz”?

“I went by Bobby’s. He told me you would be here. 

He also told me all about your home coming.

Bobby said it was action packed. 

Said he never saw anything in his life like what you did that evening”.


“Thatz it. Hmmm”?


“Just like that”?

“Just like that V. 

Just The Fuck Like Dat”.

“Commmme Onnn. 


Tell me.

Pretty Pleeze With Ton O Sugar Pleezeee”.

“Damn V. 

I don’t want to extrapolate on that evening. 

In fact I have forgotten all about that cluster fuck evening until now.

Thanx Veronica”.

“Recall. What a beautiful thing”.

“Uhhhh. Huhhh. 

You killin me V.”

“Come On. Pleezeeeeeee”.



The briefest of briefs. 

That it”.

“O.K. Agreed. 

Plus, you have almost taken the entire summer off. You must have a lot to say. I can only imagine”.


May until September. 

Kinda like school was out. 

Had a blast. 

Met some very very cool and beautiful people. 

Especially the last 20n dayz. 

So many interesting, far flung stories”.


First night back”?

“O.K. O.K.

I see Robert. 

I give a price that I want to pay for rent. 

Robert more than accommodates me.

To the point of not even being able to tell one soul what I am paying.

I could have moved into my new crib that night, but you know how I am regarding crossing the T’s and dotting the I’s.

It was late in the afternoon and the cheap ATM was already locked up for the day. You know how cheap I am”.


By the time a person takes a Quarter from your hand the Eagle will be completely rubbed off”.


The plan was made to spend the night at Bobby’s. 

No big biggy.

Then it happenz. 

I come put of the bathroom. 

Just showered and shaved. 

Fully dressed. 

Applying Cocoa Butter lotion to my mug. 


All of a sudden their is hostile yelling coming from the living room.

I walk in to see a beautiful woman all Dookied up in her Girly Girl Short Shortz. 

Tight little top. 

Sitting in one of the living room comfort chairs.

Girl has her neck strained to her right. 

Her grill locked in that position.

Turns out her man is yelling hate at Bobby. 

Bobby is calmly speaking to this big mouth big white boy, tryin to calm him down.

He takes one look at little old me and goes off on some kinda hate filled tirade. 

I talk softly to him. 

To no avail.

Telling him that he is in someones home and needz to find some sense of control.

Respect for another’s home as it were.

On and On.

Blasey. Blasey.


Oh the fuck no.

Next thing I know, I hear something about someones Mamma come from hiz stupid fat grill.

Next thing I know I’m in complete PTSD. 

Big white boy screemin and yelling hate at me.

Then it happenz.


Throw Dis White Boy Da Fuck On Outta Here“.


Blast off.

Big white boy attacks me.

Next thing he knowz.

My left hand iz very firmly squeezing him by hiz throat.

A Marine Corps hand shake as it were.

Throwing him back against a wall. 

Hiz face becomes the recipient of 9 rapid fire,  precise, decisive, maximum force propelled, snapping, fists, strategically landing all across hiz grill. 

Broke hiz entire face Da Fuck Up.

One might detail thiz action as a 1/10 of a second re-constructive facial surgery. 

No Charge.

By the time Bobby realizes what happened, I am in Full PTSD Mode.

Telling thiz Idiot All Bout Hiz Mamma.

In fact he permently haz engraved in hiz Neaderthal mind a life history of hiz Mamma.

All in 1/10th of a second repeated frames”.


Bobby jumps in front of the now beat to crap white boy.

Bobby shields the idiot.

Hiz handz spread out covering the idiot up as in the role of a referee on the Friday Night Fights. 

I step back. 

Remove Veronica from my back pack. 

I’m off the ledge.

Out Da Window.

Through Da Tube.

Gone Sally Da Fuck Gone.

Bobby is commanding me oh so gently;


Go Outside. 

Now Ryan. 


Pleezeeee. Ryan”.

I back out of the crib. 

Find a dark passage way in the 100 year old building. 

Sit down and shake for at least an hour.

In Full Da Fuck On PTSD Mode.

For sure, up there with the top 5 worst nights of my life”.


That iz so not you. 

Your just this quite little old man”.


Thatz that. 

Ya happy for bringing terror into my life today reliving the un-livable. 

I will say though. 

It felt kinda of cool. 

Hours later when I returned to Bobby’s, white boyz girl was still there apologizing off the hook to me. 

As well, getting a bit Jiggy with the old man.

If all that wasn’t enough. 

White Boy comes back around. 

I Had hiz ass arrested for assaulting a Senior Citizen.

Turns out Maggot Face had a slew of warrantz on hiz stupid ass.

He still locked up.

“Only you Ryan. This stuff only happens to you”.

“Tell me about it.

Honestly though.

29th and Crenshaw.

South Central Los Angeles Termonology.


I  Fucked  Dat  Boy  Upppp”.

“Only you. Only you Ryan.

So, do you like your new place”?

“I love it. 

It all worked out real well.

In fact the crib that Robert put me up in iz not the crib I am living in.

That night The Monsoons were off the wire. 

In fact this entire Monsoon season Tucson haz been hit hard and heavy.

Which iz a good thang, cauze for the last three years we hardly received any rain. 

Thiz year haz most certainly made up for the last three years.

In fact, the roof over the first crib Robert moved me in leaked.


Real Bad.

Started to erode the bathroom ceiling. 

Entire structure started to fall in.

So Robert moved me  into the Executive Suite for the same money. 

So Very Cool”.

“So it iz safe to say your making yourselve homeless dayz are over”?



“So where you stayin Ms. Veronica”?



“Yeah. We get along great. 

As for you, I bet TBGNS iz happy to see you”.

“Not really”.

“That iz understandable Ryan. 

You left Her

You bailed completely on Her.


Even Iggy Da Dog Doesn’t want anything to do with me. 

Now can we pleeze move on”?



I am very Pleezed to announce the World Wide Winner Claiming Bragging Rights Here In Da Swamp As The Country Who Consistently Has The Very Most Reads. 

No Small Feat Cosidering This Insane Diatribe Iz Read In 23 Countries.

Drum Roll. 




The Winner.


World Wide Champion.

Country With The Most Swamp Reads.



Ya All Heard Me.

Turkey Ahead Of The U.S.A.

By Several Country Miles.

Great JobTurkey.

You Are Now The Country That Holds The Bragging Rights For The Most Consitent Read’s Here In Da Swamp.

Most Importantly.

Thank You For Your Readz.

Ya All Humble Dis Old Man.

Rest Of The World.

Thank Ya All.

Ya All The Most Beautiful Best.

Now. On To The World.


Where do I start?

What a Mess.


I believe it was several months ago that I wrote about ISIS and their intense, precise presence up on social media. 

As well, their leader a Master of The Field of Battle.

The kind of leader that the troops will gladly step onto any field of battle with.

Recruiting Americans by the plane load. 

From my seat In Da Street.

Dis some damn ass dangerous shit.

As The Game of World Domination Spinz. 

The sad fact is that The U.S. iz stepping further behind the 8 Ball.

Talk about backwards.

In America.

Being a known individual, with strong connections to a Terrorist Organization.

Will Not Put Any What So Ever Limitations On One’s Passport.

Miss One Child Support Payment.

Passport Expelled. 

What a Country.

Deficit through the atmosphere.

U.S. National Debt Clock : Real Time

US National Debt Clock : Real Time U.S. National Debt Clock.

Not Good America.

While China Boasts a $4 Trillion Dollar Surplus.

In Gold. 

No Less.

What is really happening here is China’s Quite Presence and Influence in The Middle East.

One has to go back to the early 1970’s to fully understand China’s role in The Middle East.

1971 precisely.

At this particular time in history, China began her build up in The Middle East to counter Soviet Russia’s unslaught in Europe with their particular brand of Communism.



China’s Success in the Middle East :: Middle East Quarterly


China’s Relations with the Middle East: A Bibliography


The Tilt: The U.S. and the South Asian Crisis of 1971


Both countries are Communist.

Thing is China’s select Communism is not The Soviets Communism.

So when The Soviet Union was making her moves in Europe China decided to make a very very strong representation in The Middle East.


Look at this situation today.

The U.S. is, if you will, the bloated water balloon directly in the center of a hydraulic steel vice powered by a 971 Horse Power Motor.

Not one Nation stands with The U.S. regarding the annihilation of ISIS.

Not Happening.

As well America, seemingly clueless regarding the Ukraine hasn’t a bit of a clue who to arm with what.

Europe wants absolutely nothing to do with The U.S. involvement with Ukraine.

For the simple fact that Vladimir will surely put the hurt to Europe regarding energy.

Arm the Rebels, who without a doubt, will slaughter as many of the 700,000 Christians that Moscow and Young Gun Assad is protecting.

The Arab Countries want absolutely nothing to do with The U.S’s role in Syria.


For sure.

A Major Cluster Fuck with a Shit Storm Float for The Good Ol’ USA.

Only one winner in this game of World Domination.

Unfortunately, The U.S is way far behind the grade. 

Standing alone.

U.S. Foreign Policy.

Amidst the entire World Turmoil.

Insane Clown Posse has turned in their resignation regarding their position as The U.S. Foreign Policy Directors.

Word on the Hill is. 

Through Bio-genetics and Space Age Technology.

The 3 Stooges are at this very moment being exhumed to proceed forward from where Insane Clown Posse has left off regarding their sole purpose and role in America’s Foreign Policy.

And President Obama’s world a complete success in destroying everything America stands for.

Just like He told Ya All He was going to do.

How is  all that Fundamental Change Working Out For Ya All America?

As for myself.

I’m currently involved in covering all of my bases regarding

self preservation.

I’ll be cutting loose early today for my very first lessons covering Russian, Chinese and Arabic language study.

Mesquite Smoked Turkey. Pleeze.

使)喜欢, (使)高兴, 使愉快, 使满意, 喜欢   Chinese

дымчатый, закопченный, копченый           Russian

A Tri-Lingual 

Ryan. Out.

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